God wants worshippers not worship

When my heart runs dry
And there's no song to sing
No holy melody
No words of love within
I recall the height from which
This fragile heart has slipped...

Chorus:
And I'll remember You
I will turn back and do
The things I used to do
for the love of You
Lord, I'll remember You
I will turn back and do
The things I used to do
for the love of You

You are my soul's desire
You are the hope within
You bring my heart to life
You make my spirit sing
I recall the height from which
This fragile heart has slipped..

because this conversation has come up 3 times...

what i am looking for in a husband:

1) Firstly, it's not up to me, but up to God. So many times I thought i knew what was right for me, but I was wrong. So God knows best. He knows the end from the beginning. He knows what my future holds and who will be the best one to walk alongside me.

Having said that...

Obviously the person will be saved, learnt from being yoked with unbelievers...but again, God will orchestrate who I end up with.

Family/Flexible. I really dont want to go alone to family parties, i want my husband to embrace my culture/family and vice versa.

Friendship. Want the person to be my best friend. One who will laugh, go out, play games and just chill with me. Of course he can have his own friends, and me mine, but dont wanna live seperate lives. i will also join in on Xbox nights ;)

Loving me just the way I am. Of course as I grow in God I become better but until then, love me for me. I cannot live up to someone else's expectations...

I used to want musician, foreigner, etc...But those are petty. God knows what's best and I'll wait on him! ;) Of all these points only no. 1 really counts.

Everlasting arms...

I once told someone "Just hold me..." They couldn't just hold me. Nor could they understand that was all I wanted. To be held. The assurance and freedom that comes from being in someone's arms.However,even if they could just hold me, I realise now the yearning and longing I had was so much deeper. Human arms wouldn't do. I now understand it was my spirit crying out to His Spirit. Deep calls to deep, the Psalmist says.

The best thing about it all is that though my searching to be held was taking me on a path of destruction, the Lord knew. He saw, He heard, He intervened. And now I find myself months later learning to be held by everlasting arms. Dancing with the lifter of my head. Adoring the lover of my soul. Being healed, freed, mended, pruned, shaped, enlarged, but mostly, loved.

Thank you Lord. You did not allow me to drown or sink. You saw the yearning of my soul and found me. You love me to wholeness and my heart is yours forever. O lover of my soul and my best friend!

the journey so far...

intimacy, intimacy, intimacy...
close, closer getting so much closer
through the fire, wilderness
tears, fears, insecurities
yet a deeper longing
for all you've predestined
which keeps pulling me forward
in the midst of the fire
the fragrance comes,
drawing me close,closer, so much deeper
nearer, dearer, intimacy

denke...

Something I'm learning, seeing, mulling on.

Sometimes when someone hurts us, or something, and we don't heal properly or get a proper understanding of how to deal with that, we project that on future events or people.

This is not only in huge injustices, but includes the little things to...

More specifically, in my case, for example. One person misunderstands everything I say. After that I am now more careful of what I say to anybody, and then also more sensitive to what people are saying to me. They then react to either my tone of voice, or whatever as I am not so open as before. This then maybe leads to an argument...I am even more careful with people after that.

Now someone misunderstands someone else, or something bigger like my country, or culture, etc. and I feel the need to defend. But all of this could come from the initial being misunderstood.

The solution?

Find my identity in Christ alone... Stop caring what people think. Maybe evaluate if I was at fault, but accept that not everyone will like or understand me. What matters is what God thinks and finding my acceptance only in him...

Facebook Status of the day...

God First,then humility to others above the need to be understood.When will I learn this?

I will follow You, Christ

What a moment
You have brought me to
Such a freedom I have found in You.
You're the healer
Who makes all things new
Yeah yeah

I'm not going back
I'm moving ahead
Here to declare to you
My past is over in You
All things are made new
Surrendered my life to Christ
I'm moving moving forward

You have risen
With all power in Your hands
You have given me
A second chance

Hallelujah hallelujah
Yeah, yeah, yeah

You make all things new
Yes
You make all things new
And I will follow You
Forward

People...

I don't know if this is just human nature, or some people or what? I don't know if I'm just blinded and don't see that I do it too...But I really hate it when people box people, and then when confronted with evidence that contradicts their view continue to believe that about them anyway... I know there are people I have made assumptions about, but also know that when I realised I was wrong it normally hit me and in sometimes would feel guilty enough to actually go and tell that person that I had a different view and realised I was wrong...

On a normal day I would say I tend to put a comma at the end of the sentence when getting to know someone never a full stop because you can spend your lifetime learning more about the person. I don't even fully know myself! How can you claim to know and define me...

Part 2 and the reason for this venting. Is the hurt that comes with the people defining or boxing being the people you love. If they arent doing this, well they never allow me to clarify or contradict or correct them. And whether they are saying what they think or not their way of handling me shows an opinion of me as their way of handling others differs...

Anyway No idea how to resolve this and trying not to be upset about it...Trying to point it out brings more arguments and then more guilt... And no solutions...Not if there is a fullstop at the end of the sentence..

I guess the bottom line is to find my acceptance and selfworth and needs in Christ...And Also allow him to resolve the situations that occur with others...

Humble pie maybe?